Imagination Sinkhole


I, journeyman, await the judgment of the guild. Am I master or fool?

The dogs prowl the perimeter. I pour a glass of rye. I check my watch again: how many hours removed is the west coast?  If I’m sitting in a stationary building on Thursday in spring during a waxing moon, am I two hours ahead or three? Are we saving the daylight now, or were we doing it last winter?  What is the relative velocity of California?

Rye again.

*            *            *

My skill is zed.

Our guild has no formal body, only a loose association of masters.  There is no crest or seal or fundraising jamboree. If I pass my journeymanship I will gain no additional letters after my name. There is no recognition but trust.

But that’s worth something. Because zed is hot, my friend, very very hot. Zed is putting gas in my car, and oatmeal in my children.  Zed pays the tax man. Zed helps me get ahead.

Why hasn’t my thigh rung? It’s almost nine.

They can put a man on Pandora but they can’t call me back on time.

I mean, shit.

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General Exception

Going to court against the mini-robots

If John Sundman and John Grisham were to collaborate, this court case (which is summarized here) would be the main feature. A man, faced with an evil chemical spewing tree-climbing army of mini-robots, runs to his fax machine and files a lawsuit to save humanity. It’s sorta like The Terminator meets Erin Brockovich.

Hmm… wait, forget I said that… anyone have a phone number for someone in Hollywood? I do believe I have a movie idea to pitch…

Posted in General Exception, I Fear These Things | Also tagged | 1 Comment (Comments closed)

My Thoughts Exactly

Divining the deep implications of the writers' strike

I sent a note to a friend of mine who is a longtime Hollywood actor & photographer, recently turned producer. When the strike began, he had just landed a big recurring role in one of CBS’s new shows, which has since been canceled (along with several other projects he had some involvement in). I asked him his opinion of the settlement. Here’s his reply:

It seems to have either been a stupendously costly farce, or a bold step in the right direction. I have no opinion worth making, but I do have a beard, a lot of time for making photographs, and a bank account that would make a ascetic shudder.

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Inventing the Future


eShrek – n. software that is big-business in and of itself. For entertainment purposes only, not business or personal enrichment. (From Old Internet eMail and New Hollywood Shrek, after Yiddish “shrek” (monster), sometimes with connotations of shlock, shmaltz, shmata, or other short throw-away Yiddish words denoting things not highly regarded.) Compare “crapware.”

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Tales of the Sausage Factory

TotSF: Public Knowledge Action Alert on IP bills

I’m republishing below the action alert from Public Knowledge on the latest intellectual property hijinks in Congress.

Stay tuned . . . .

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Tales of the Sausage Factory

TotSF: I agree with the American Conservative Union

Well, on one thing anyway. ACU — one of the backbones of the conservative movement, is opposing attempts by Congress to pass yet another stupid bill on copyright enforcement. Details in this Wired article. The quote that caught my eye was:

“’It’s just plain wrong to make the Department of Justice Hollywood’s law firm,’ said Stacie Rumenap, ACU’s deputy director.”

Couldn’t agree with them more.

Stay tuned . . .

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