The Internet Is For Porn — House of Representatives Version

Based on this news report, it would appear lots of member offices in the House of Representatives are using BitTorrent to download lots of infringing material. Including, not surprisingly, porn. Now we know why SOPA supporters are convinced that the only use for peer-2-peer and cloud services is piracy and porn. It’s what they use it for.

Inspired by Rep. Jared Polis’ inclusion of the lyrics of the “Internet is For Porn” from the musical Avenue Q in the record during the SOPA mark up, I bring you the fair use parody below . . . .

To the Tune of “The Internet is for Porn” from Avenue Q.

 

Citizen Monster: Cloud services and P-2-P are great!

 

Intern Monster: For porn!

 

Citizen Monster: I got a fast connection so I don’t have to wait.

 

IM: For porn!

 

CM: I can use a distant host

 

IM: For porn!

 

CM: My files won’t get lost

 

IM: My porn!

 

CM: I can massively reduce my storage costs!

 

IM: For porn!

 

CM: Intern Monster!

 

IM: Peer-2-Peer is for porn.

 

CM: Interrrrnnnn . . . .

 

IM: P2P is for porn.

 

CM: What are you doing.

 

IM: Why you think file sharing was born? Porn, porn, porn . . .

 

Citizen Monster: Intern, you are a pervert! And worse, you are a pirate! Downloading all this infringing filth. You should be ashamed! Don’t you know that piracy is theft?

 

IM: But Citizen Monster, everyone does it. I assert, on basis of no actual authority, that almost everything traded on P2P sites or kept in storage lockers or other cloud services is either piracy, porn or both. That what I use it for, so that what everyone use it for. Mostly.

 

Citizen Monster: But look at all the offices in the House of Representatives using BitTorrent and other peer-2-peer software. You mean to say all those member offices supporting the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) are using BitTorrent to download pirated porn?

 

IM: Why you think we write SOPA? We know everyone doing piracy and pornography with P2P  ’cause that’s what we do.

 

Citizen Monster: That’s hypocrisy!

 

Intern Monster: That’s Congress. Tell ’em fellahs!

 

[Enter Legislative Assistant, Chief of Staff, and Member Monster]

 

LA, CoS, Member Monster: BitTorrent is for porn!

 

IM: and Piracy!

 

LA, CoS, MM: P2P is for porn!

 

IM: and Piracy!

 

LA, CoS, MM: Don’t let SOPA tell you nope-a we love porn, porn, PORN!

 

IM: and piracy.

 

Citizen Monster: Hold on a second! I know for a fact you use the Internet to review agency regulations.

 

LA: True

 

Citizen Monster: And Chief of Staff, you use the Internet to track constituent services in district, run news tracking services, and research important questions for hearings.

 

Chief of Staff: That’s right!

 

Citizen Monster: And you, Member Monster, you can’t even figure out how to install your browser so you have your LA print out your emails.

 

Member Monster: Absolutely.

 

Intern Monster: But Citizen Monster, what you think they do after all that?

 

Member Monster: yeah . . .

 

Citizen Monster: ewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

LA, COS, MM: Peer-2-Peer is for porn!

 

Citizen Monster: I hate Porn!

 

LA, COS, MM, IM: P2P is for porn!

 

Citizen Monster: I hate Congress!!

 

LA, CoS, MM, IM: Praise hypocrisy, we love piracy, and porn, porn, PORN!!!

 

 

Stay tuned . . . .

This entry was posted in Fighting the IP Mafia, Tales of the Sausage Factory. Bookmark the permalink. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.
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